So Tuesday was a great day. I felt good, and even managed to go out with a friend for some much needed fellowship & fun. We had a great lunch, enjoyed looking at baby things and talking about the struggles of being newcomers to a new culture and country. It was awesome. Sadly, it came with payback because Wednesday and today I thought I was going to die. I feel like my entire body was completely emptied, and a recent check of the scale has me down a good six pounds. Thankfully Joey has been doing everything in his power to help me feel better, and we’re learning together to manage the sickness. So far the magical answer seems to be protein. So he’s been making me steak and buying me fried chicken. It’s the one thing I can keep down, and therefore keep down my prenatal vitamins and my antibiotics. (Found out I had an infection on Sunday, so I’m taking an antibiotic for a week.)

Yesterday Joey had to meet up with a friend so he took me to his dad’s house with a bag of food and lengthy instructions to Grandpa-to-be on making me food and checking on me.  I was okay mid afternoon, but the morning and evening were wretched and have left me feeling very weak and drained today.  So, we’re taking things slow. We went to Immigration to get our re-entry permits for our trip to America, and then headed to the in-laws to relax for the afternoon and do some work for the RICD remotely.

I am in constant prayer that the morning sickness will let up in the next week so that we can have a pleasant journey to America. It’s a long trip, with a ten hour layover in Seoul alone, so travel mercies are greatly needed!

our baby

Prenatal Care in Thailand has been quite the experience so far! We’re extremely happy with our doctor, a highly recommended female doctor who is pro natural childbirth in words & practice, and is also a fellow believer. She’s very warm and motherly and even though we’ve only had two visits I enjoy her very hands off approach and general ‘this is a very natural event’ outlook. I told Joey last night that we’re in for a shock in America where we’ll be receiving our prenatal care for four months out of our pregnancy. It will be interesting to compare, although so far I enjoy the hands off approach here in Thailand.

That said, I did not enjoy the long wait we had at the clinic! We got into our doctor quite quickly, talked about how things were going, our travel plans and how we’d be returning in October. She was very supportive and had a positive outlook on everything. We got to hear the baby’s heart beat with the doppler for the first time, and our doctor smiled warmly as Joey and I grinned like a couple of loons and made eyes at each other.

Then it was time to wait for our ultrasound. The tech was late and we ended up being number thirteen  in the queue. Oh my stars. I hadn’t eaten since before we left at about 3:30 and had only snacked on a pack of saltines and have a granola bar, so waiting for over four hours was torture! And on top of that there is this odd phenomena in Thailand where two or three days out of the year flying termites swarm any light source, fly around for about 45 minutes and then lose their wings. The office was filled with them! I ABHOR flying creatures and was ready to forget about the ultrasound entirely. Seriously, anything that flies is at a strong risk of entering my ears, eyes, nose or mouth, and I don’t care what anyone says to the contrary. Finally tho all their wings fell off and I was able to stop cowering in Joey’s lap. Pretty sure all the Thais thought I was nuts.

Then, about 9PM it was time to see our baby! (Only in Thailand would you have a regular ultrasound at 9PM! And there were patients after us!)

The ultrasound tech was very sweet, with great English. She happily announced it was only one baby, and then we got to stare with great enamor at the giant flatscreen TV with our little one on it. The tech was very amused by our baby as he/she kept kicking it’s feet and waving it’s arms and doing flips all over the place. She said she thought the baby was hungry (mama sure was!) and just when she was about to get a picture the baby flipped on it’s side and showed us it’s bum. It was just incredible how much detail we could see! I didn’t realize it was possible this early, but we saw feet, and arms, and it’s nose and even where it’s eyes are. We’re pretty sure it’s the cutest thing ever.  We got about eight pictures and have loved looking them over. I told Joey I seriously wanted an ultrasound machine so I could just watch my baby, but he didn’t think that was such a great idea. And he’s usually right, like how he kept saying I wasn’t twelve weeks along. The doctor measure and we’re more like 11 weeks, which moves our due date to November 30th. I liked the Thanksgiving due date, but babies never come  on their due date, so oh well.

All in all, it was a wonderful way to spend our anniversary.

We get to see our baby today! The day is auspicious as it is our sixth month wedding anniversary as well. I can’t think of a better way to spend our anniversary than seeing our baby’s first ultrasound picture.

(The Dr. tried to do an ultrasound at six weeks, but our baby is apparently tiny, or I’m not as far along as previously thought, or our baby is just persnickety. Either way, we didn’t see anything, ergo this is our first visual of our little Dewdrop.)

Not quite as happy is the fact that I’ve felt horrible today, much worse than I’ve felt in quite awhile. I’ve thrown up once and felt on the verge a half dozen times.
But despite this I was able to get some preparation done for our departure to America. I cannot believe leave in just over two weeks. It’s mind boggling, and alarming, and sometimes sends me into a mental panic. A large part of me does not want to leave, even for four months. I fear that I’ll lose all the progress I’ve made in feeling like this is home. I feel like I’ll lose the little language I’ve gained, and lose the few connections I’ve made with people.
But I know that God wants us to do this. We’re going to be doing a lot of ministry work in America this summer, and lots of fundraising, and God will be at work.

And I won’t lie, I’m really looking forward to the food.

Well we’re almost to twelve weeks! The morning sickness has been a little less awful, in that I get one to two days without feeling sick, and then a day where I puke four times in an hour. I’ll take what I can get.

I’ve been able to be at work more often, and even went on an out of town distribution yesterday. We were due to go next week but at the last minute we were told we’d have to go yesterday. So we were up at 3:30AM, on the road by 4 and drove over four hours, distributed more than twenty wheelchairs, and then drove home. Quite a trip! Thankfully it was one of my good days and I experienced very little nausea, although I got a lot of exercise making trips to the restroom every hour.
I also was reprimanded for lifting a box of Bibles. I haven’t been taking the no heavy lifting seriously since Joey has gone overboard and barely lets me carry my own purse. Still, I stand corrected and plan to lay off the lifting. (which will be hard when we’re traveling!)

We’re now just a mere three weeks from our departure to America. I’m eagerly anticipating eating my little heart out. I spent twenty minutes this morning informing Joey of everything on my to-eat list. You can get a lot of stuff here, but it’s terribly expensive, and we’re on a tight budget.

I’m also now starting to show, which is weird because I’ve been losing weight, at least four pounds, if not more, because of the vomiting. Still, there’s a noticeable lump, which Joey is extremely excited about.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Five months married, five months living in Thailand, two months pregnant with our first child. Six weeks till we leave for four months in America.

It’s amazing how swiftly time passes. I’ve been trying to mentally prepare myself for the fact that this pregnancy will pass very quickly. I’ll be three months along when we leave for America, and we’ll have an insanely busy four months there, and then less than two months home before the baby is due. It will fly by. And then we’ll be parents.

Parents. A mother. My baby.

All those words leave me in awe! I’ve wanted to be a mother for so long, and it’s happening! It’s unbelievable sometimes, and so so unreal. I’m not sure when it will seem real. When I start to show? When I can feel the baby? Maybe next month when we have our ultrasound?

I’m awestruck at how thankful I am for this gift. How quickly God gave us this gift. I always suspected that conceiving would be insanely easy; my mom had seven children biologically, and my two older sisters have nine kids between them. But when it actually happens it takes you off guard. What? That easy?

I think the most incredible blessing to me has been seeing Joey grow as a husband and future father. I joke that he’s read more of What to Expect When You’re Expecting than me. But it’s not much of a joke. The other night we were talking about birth and pregnancy, and he said that he feels like right now he can do so much for our baby, by helping me rest, making sure I exercise and eat as healthy as possible.  Maybe it was the hormones, but I was nearly in tears! What a gift from God to have a husband who is so dedicated to being a part of this experience with me.

God is good. Forever & ever.

Father, take away the walls around my heart and let me love even when it hurts. Let me give, even for just a short time. Let me live in the moment, so as to change the future.

Joey’s Wheelchair

Whenever people met my brother, Joey, the first thing they noticed about him was his smile. It was the memory of his smile that showed me who God chose to receive his wheelchair in Thailand …

I planned to go to Thailand with WFTW before Joey’s death. After his passing in September 2008, I knew the Lord was prompting me to take his wheelchair to give to someone. Five months after his death, I boarded a plane with his wheelchair and began the long overseas journey.

Six wheelchair distributions were scheduled. We completed three and Joey’s wheelchair still had not been used. As I continued to wheel his chair in and out of my hotel room each day, it grew harder and harder to wait on God’s timing. It was a travel day and a day of worship in the province of Phayao. As we gathered in a small church, the pastor spoke about severe trials of loss and pain and the overflowing joy of God’s grace. I wept as I heard the Lord say “I will provide.” I wept as I knew Joey’s wheelchair would be used in Phayao.

The next day, I again asked the Lord to use Joey’s chair for His glory. As the day came to an end, I felt utterly discouraged. Suddenly, I was asked to meet Sompong, a thirty-one year old woman who was twenty years post polio. As soon as I saw her sweet smile, I knew she was the one! We rolled the wheelchair in and as she transferred into it, we knew it was a perfect fit! Her joy grew tenfold! I have found Thais to be very stoic, not very physical or emotional. They’re all smiles, whether they are angry or sad. But as I shared Joey’s story, my family’s story and photos I brought, tears filled the eyes of both Sompong and her mother. How the gifts of compassion and love can break any barriers!

Through our translator, I discovered Sompong practiced the Buddhist faith. I was prompted to ask one of our in country evangelist to introduce Jesus to her. He explained Christ’s unfailing love and how this wheelchair was truly a gift from Christ. Sompong intently listened and after much prayer, she chose to accept Jesus as her Savior! We both shed tears of joy as we embraced as sisters in Christ. Only the Great Storyteller could have written such a perfect ending. My family and I have such joy in the knowledge that some day in heaven, Joey and Sompong will be smiling as they meet, and neither one of them will be in a wheelchair!

Because itineraries bring me uncontainable joy

After modifying my outgoing flight the other night my tickets for Thailand are settled! Once or twice a day I read over the whole thing and smile like a very silly girl.

Wednesday, February 4th
Depart Phoenix Sky Harbor at 6PM
Arrive in San Francisco 7:10PM

[ lug suitcase, two carryons and wheelchair up to international terminal ]

Thursday, February 5th
Depart San Francisco at 12:15AM
Arrive in Taipei, Taiwan at 6:05AM (Feb 6th)

Friday, February 6th
Depart Taipei at 8:50AM
Arrive in Bangkok, Thailand at 1:25PM
Depart Bangkok 5:15PM
Arrive in Chiang Mai at 6:25PM

[ experience Thailand, fall in love with many people, show God's love for the disabled, try not to injure myself ]

Friday, February 20th
Depart Hat Yai at 10:25AM
Arrive in Bangkok at 11:55AM
Depart Bangkok at 2:45PM
Arrive in Taipei at 9:25PM
Depart Taipei at 11:25PM
Arrive in San Francisco at 6:10PM

[ be retrieved by dear Palo Alto aunt & uncle, crash at their home, and then be deposited back at San Francisco airport the next morning ]

Saturday, February 21st
Depart San Fransisco at 11AM
Arrive in Phoenix at 2:00PM

[ talk poor Mum's ear off all the way home ]

I can’t wait!

Heart for the Disabled

As you know, I’m pretty involved with Joni and Friends International ministries. I’ve volunteered at seven of their Family Retreats, gone on one Wheels for the World trip with them, and will be going on two more this spring, as well as volunteering at at least two Family Retreats this summer. I’m also a member of their Chair Corp, collecting wheelchairs to be taken on Wheels for the World trips.

Joni has a radio show, Joni and Friends Radio, and this week is Heart for the Disabled Week. The premise is to do a segment on a different family each day, and for listeners to write a note of encouragement, ect to be sent in to Joni and Friends who will then get it to the chosen family for Valentines Day. Yesterdays segment was on a wonderful lady I know from Mission Springs, Sherri Hollabaugh, a 60 year old grandma of three young boys, all with varying special needs. She is incredible! I strongly encourage you to go and listen to that segment (http://www.joniandfriendsradio.org/listen-now/2009/1/13/heart-disabled-sherri-hollabaugh/)

Well todays segment was on my family. (Or part of us. There are actually twelve kids, but only  ten of us were at Retreat when we were interviewed.) The segment is incredibly touching and we feel so blessed that we were chosen for this. You can listen here. It is my hope that maybe this little story might encourage someone, or maybe a few people to consider special needs adoption. It is such an incredible blessing in our lives!

Please listen in the rest of the week and consider blessing these other families who are talked about this week, with a kind note or Bible verse. Maybe make it a project for the kids? I promise you that it will bless these families beyond anything you can imagine!

Also, if you have google reader, consider adding her to your subscriptions. I usually listen to her little 4-5 minute clips each morning as I’m getting ready for the day. They are always very encouraging!

Bubbles or underwear?

My suitcase is now officially overweight, and I haven’t even packed my undies yet. Now is the time to start panicking.